Book Reflections by Kylie Linke

As I began this reflection I was reminded of another book.  L M Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables.

While I have never met Katie Schuermann, something I believe we have in common is a love for Anne Shirley’s story.  Maybe you do too.

Montgomery’s series of ‘Anne books’ were among my favourite reads as a young girl.  These tales of Anne – a fictional character – inspired me to hope and dream I would one day be the mother of a large family.

In real life, however, my experiences as a wife and mother have been very different to those childhood imaginings.

The Lord has blessed my husband and I with two boys.  Prior to receiving these gifts from God, we lived through years of barrenness.

This period in my life preceded He Remembers the Barren being published.  Yet, in this book, I found stories that resemble my own.

From the opening chapter, I felt for Katie Schuermann, and for the women who shared their stories with her.  I also felt understood.  She writes,

“She knows what it is like to hope and plan and dream each month, only to end up suffering through a private funeral every time her period starts…  She is a woman but not a mother, and she is confused.” (pages 1-2).

This is the story of many women.  This was my story too.

I remember awkward conversations about our childlessness.  Dreading the question, “Do you have any children?” in social situations.  Receiving unsolicited advice.

The internal struggle each time friends announced they were pregnant, “It was good news, really…this was cause for major celebration.  I did not feel like celebrating, however.” (page 17).

In the midst of these sufferings, Katie Schuermann reminds us,

“Nothing happens in our lives apart from our gracious and loving heavenly Father, and every full and empty womb is intended for our good…” (page 9).

Romans 8 has become a regular source of comfort for me in times of suffering.  Verse 28 in particular, which is referenced several times in He Remembers the Barren.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose”.

As Katie Schuermann observes in Chapter 16, “…God promises to work all things, even your suffering and pain, for your eternal good.” (page 107).

In some ways, I feel ill qualified to reflect on He Remembers the Barren, as someone who experienced barrenness, then conceived.  However as Katie Schuermann highlights, “Even if we conceive… we still carry the painful scars of those empty years…  Those barren years are a fixed part of our histories.” (page 48).

Our firstborn arrived seven years into our marriage.  Prior to this, I grieved over our childlessness, and wondered why we could not conceive.  I have a chronic illness, but various medical checks did not identify any reason for our barrenness.

I confess I fell into the trap Katie Schuermann describes of looking for certainty where there is none, instead of acknowledging, “…God is the author of life…the giver (and the withholder) of the gift of children.” (pages 131-132).

The wait for our second child was longer.  In He Remembers the Barren Katie Schuermann also addresses this issue of secondary infertility, and the feelings that can accompany it (pages 132-133).  This too resonated with me.  As a mother of one child I knew I had much to thank God for, yet I grieved too, particularly as our son longed for a sibling.

So I do feel ill qualified to write this reflection.  But it’s not about my qualifications.

It is about our loving God – our Heavenly Father, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, our Helper the Holy Spirit.  He is central in Katie Schuermann’s writing.  This is why He Remembers the Barren offers much for all of us.

There is both God’s Law and the Gospel message, the peace and hope we have in Christ.

There is comfort for sisters in Christ wrestling with barrenness, miscarriage and suffering in general.

There is insight for people who desire to love, serve and better understand those wrestling with such suffering.

There is much encouragement.  Chapter by chapter, as stories of suffering are shared, references to Scripture are included, or cited for looking up while reading.  Each chapter closes with a reading from Psalms, a Prayer by Deaconess Melissa DeGroot and Hymn Stanza.

I give thanks to God for Katie Schuermann.  For her willingness to share her gift of writing, and these deeply personal stories.  I give thanks too for all who supported and encouraged her in the work of producing He Remembers the Barren.  Through them God has reminded me He is with us in the midst of our sufferings.  He never leaves us or forsakes us, even in our deepest grief or darkest days.  He has also reminded me of my vocations.  Reminded me our identity first and foremost is not about whether or not we are mothers, but the identity we have in Christ.

As Professor John T. Pless observes in his foreword to this book, “As Katie so aptly puts it, fulfilment is found not in the womb, but in Christ.” (p. xvi).